When in Middle Earth
by ohfuckthis
Summary: When you find yourself in Middle Earth, things start to get strange.......
1. Chapter 1

Stuck in Middle-Earth with a Mary-Sue

I sat under the oak tree in the park with the three items imperative to completing the absolute perfection of this day. I had just gotten out of school for summer break and was ready to settle down in the park with my Starbucks Frapp, a bar of chocolate, and a copy of Lord of the Rings. I took a long sip of coffee perfection, opened Lord of the rings to my favorite section, Tom Bombadil. I let the words flow over me and went into the semi-conscious world that occurs when you are half in your world, and half in the other. Suddenly everything grew silent, wondering what had happened I looked up.

Something was wrong; it took me awhile to even comprehend that. In front of me the land stretched in a rolling maze of valleys and hills, the sun was setting to my left and I could hear the dull rushing of a river, as it rumbled out of the mountains that completed the scenery. Some birds swooped and trilled over head in the breeze that ruffled the grass I sat on. As I took in this beautiful sight I stood up, and in the midst of the splendor of my surroundings, I did what any self-respecting human would do: shriek and faint.

I woke up when the sun was completely set and the world immersed in darkness, it took me awhile to realize where I was, or rather, where I wasn't. I was alone in the wilderness; I knew that but the overwhelming emptiness that was pressing in on me. I tried to get a grip on myself and immediately came up with a plan: Drink my starbucks. I'm no genius but I do know that nothing makes you feel better than a frapp. I gathered my wits and thought this: isn't it a girl's scouts rule that if you are lost in the wilderness you head north? So, having eaten my chocolate and Starbucks, I headed what I judged to be North.

I walked for an hour or so until I stumbled upon a white stone, literally.

"Oh dang it!" I muttered. "I had loved that shoe!"A big rip had split my shoe in half. That's when it hit me: "white stone? White sto….there were white stones on the path to Rivendell! Oh wait, Imraldis? I….I…." I got no further, for the second time that day; I had fainted when I saw a beautiful figure ring toward me on a great, white horse.

When I opened my eyed the first thing I did was started cracking up

"HAaha-bwah-hahuuu….oh boy!" I was lying in a bed in the most beautiful room that I'd ever seen and it had suddenly occurred to me that I was in Middle Earth. I lay in bed the full realization of my situation wash over me. I stood up, "I'm in Middle Earth" I said "I'm in Middle Earth! I'm in Middle Earth! I'm in Middle Earth!" I did a little dance around the room finally collapsing in a padded chair, conveniently resting in a corner. Slowly stood up and walked to the wall, where delicate tapestries covered what I guessed to be a window. I took a deep breath and started to pull away the curtain.

"May I help you miss?"

"GAHH!" I turned around with all the speed I could muster to see a very confused elleth standing in an open doorway with a tray of food.

"Oh, um, no thanks", I stammered. I was so stunned by the fact that I was talking to an elf and how stunningly beautiful she was that I had nothing to say.

"I'll leave your breakfast here" she said bustling around the room "washing water over here, and there's a dress for you in the wardrobe"

"Wait", I said in a wobbly voice.

"Oh", she smiled "I almost forgot, the book that you had is in the trunk; and Lord Elrond wants to speak with you when you are ready. Ask any passing elf were his study is and he'll tell you." So with a flick of her hair she was out the door before I could ask another question. Without a moment wasted I sat down heavily in a chair. Oh my goodness, Elrond!


	2. Chapter 2

Perhaps I should describe myself to you: short, on the fat side, mousy brown hairy, grazel eyes, lumpy nose, and so many zits you couldn't tell where they stopped and my skin began. I am on the school honor roll and chess club. I have a few friends, most as dorky as I am. Nice parents, only child. Basically the exact opposite of a Mary Sue, I've always prided myself in the aspect. My name is Sarah Eusyram , odd, I know.

I sat there for a minute trying to get what the elleth had just told me through my brain, "Elrond...food...book…clothes?" My mind was running in circles. I slowly stood up. "Food, food first; Then clothes," I pulled out a sky blue dress and absently pulled it on. "Then….Elrond….Elrond!" I almost fainted. But I figured, "If I'm going to be here for awhile, then I might as well….go". So with what I thought was a confident face, I stepped out into the hall.

Luckily an extremely handsome elf was walking past. "I…um…well. Where's Lord Elrond?"

"Down the hall milady"

"That went relatively well" I thought to myself. I continued down the hall until I reached a massive door. I wasn't particularly sure of what to do next, so I timidly knocked on the oaken doors.

"Come in"

I walked into the room (which happened to be Lord Elrond's study) sitting in a semi circle around Lord Elrond's desk were: Lord Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir, Erestor, and Gandalf. They sat there looking at me for, what seemed, eternity. Just as I was considering leaving, maybe I was in the wrong room, Elrond spoke: "Who are you? And where are you from?"

"umm…well, I'm Sarah Eusyram, and I'm from Cali….I mean…I'm kind of from another world", I stammered I realized how stupid this sounded and continued, " I mean, I'm not form here , I opened my eyes and, Walla! I'm here, I have proof! I know all your names! Elrond, Elladan, Elroh..."

"Stop!" Elrond boomed, "What is this? Another world? How do you know our names?"

Here I was stuck, was I supposed to tell them about how famous they were? About my book? "In my world there is a book that tells all about the wars of the ring." Collective gasps went around the room, I didn't heed them and went on, "and the fellowship, I know about the council and… wait what year is it? Has, has Glorfindel left to search for Frodo yet? Has Boromir arrived?"

Elladan spoke up, "father that is what I came to tell you: a man called Boromir is headed here through the gap of Rohan ." "Do you really know the future, lass?" Erestor spoke up.

"Yes, Yes I do" I said "you will…"

"Hush Child!" Gandalf said, "If what she says is true, then she can't tell us, not one word! What if things went a way they weren't supposed to? She mustn't be allowed to tell us anything, nothing, at all!"

"What about me?" I asked.

"Do you want the pretty answer or the truth?"

"Truth"

"You will be kept here under heavy surveillance, but treated as one of my guests. He boomed now go, my adopted daughter"

Confused I ran to my room where I caught sight of myself in a mirror! I had long golden hair and eyes that changed color with my mood! I had a gignormous chest and my waist was non-existent! I was a freaking Mary-sue! I flung myself out the window to avoid ruining middle-earth even more.


	3. I AM DEAD

To those who have misunderstood, here is the rest of the story: I died.


End file.
